Right now I am tormented by the squeaky see-sawing of a man shimmying back and forth in his old wooden chair in the next room. What I'd like to say to him right now is this: "IF YOU HAVE TO PEE, MAN, GET UP AND PEE! QUIT WORRYING THE CHAIR!!!"
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Right now I am tormented by the squeaky see-sawing of a man shimmying back and forth in his old wooden chair in the next room. What I'd like to say to him right now is this: "IF YOU HAVE TO PEE, MAN, GET UP AND PEE! QUIT WORRYING THE CHAIR!!!"
November 26, 2007 at 09:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Tried and true recipes from the archives. All you need to do is buy a turkey or a chicken and roast her up.
Appetizer
Cumin-spiced pumpkin and cream cheese spread
Soup
Butternut squash soup with bacon
Salad
Caesar salad
Side dishes
Lentils with spinach and goat cheese
Garlic-lemon green beans with bread crumbs
Sweet potato and apple Thanksgiving casserole OR Spicy roasted sweet potatoes
Twice-baked potatoes
Dessert
Apple and pear crumble
Carrot cake
Pumpkin-chocolate chip cookies
November 22, 2007 at 11:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
10. A 4-day weekend!
9. Somehow, I have escaped the ravages of cellulite. (So far.)
8. I am not hosting a huge party today at my house.
7. My horrible haircut is finally growing into something mildly attractive.
6. Jeff experienced one brief vertigo-free moment this week. (It was only 90 seconds, but that's the only 90 seconds of vertigo-free life he's had in nearly 2 years, so we were excited.)
5. My girls weekend -- with Little Sister and my mom -- in New York a few weeks ago. Best thing I've ever done.
4. Surviving the really scary turbulence coming back from New York.
3. All my girlfriends, who make me laugh, make me drunk, and make me so happy to be alive.
2. My friend left her car here last night because she was too drunk to drive. (Thank you thank you thank you.)
1. I am not hosting a huge party today at my house. WOOHOO!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
November 22, 2007 at 08:48 AM in Just Plain Musings | Permalink | Comments (2)
A good friend of mine has fallen in love with Scott Howard in recent months. Last night we popped by for dinner, and all I can say is I've got a wig, some pepper spray, and a bag of adult diapers in the trunk of my car, so bring. it. on.
Last night is one of those nights where the service is what prompted me to gush. (The food is gush-worthy, it's just that I eat a lot of good food and I don't write about every bite.) We arrived 30 minutes early with plans to have a drink at the bar. The host slyly let us know whom he'd be seating next so we could hover in the appropriate area and guarantee ourselves a seat. Nice. Then, shortly after ordering my Maker's Mark and ginger, the ginger ale gun went out and I had to wait a few minutes for the bartender to replace it. For sitting patiently all of five extra minutes, he comped both our drinks. And then poured some extra wine for Jeff. I sat there like a wide-mouthed frog for a few seconds before mustering a very sincere thank you. It was so totally unnecessary, except that now I want to scream "I LOVE SCOTT HOWARD" from the rooftops. (Don't be offended, Gary, my voice carries and I can't help it if we live near your restaurant.)
Not long after, the host came by to let us know that it was past 9 and though our table wasn't ready yet, it would be soon. I asked if we could get a bread basket, just something to nibble on, and he said, "I'll see what we can send over." Before long we were sipping the chef's famous carrot broth with chervil sabayon. Just the thing for a cold foggy night -- can a soup taste more like carrots than just plain carrots do? -- and another totally unnecessary, but totally appreciated gift from the kitchen.
When we finally sat down -- 10 minutes late? 20? I don't even know because the inconvenience vanished under the veil of good service -- the parade of goodness began in earnest. The menu is new and improved, a lot shorter and a lot less fancy than it used to be. We dove into the tuna tartare with avocado, chorizo, and espelette pepper. It is on par with Aqua's Moroccan-spiced version, which I think is some of the best tartare in the city. (Bonus points for the theatricality of mixing it tableside.) Next we devoured a tiny roasted quail, then went head to head against moist bacon-wrapped monkfish and rosy-red venison. Dessert was an ungodly buttery brioche French toast (but where the heck did the strawberries come from in November? tsk tsk) and butterscotch pudding, which made me feel six again (even if they do use artificially-flavored butterscotch chips).
Slobbery kisses to you, Scott Howard.
Scott Howard ~ 500 Jackson Street ~ 415.956.7040 ~ scotthowardsf.com
November 18, 2007 at 10:36 AM in San Francisco eateries | Permalink | Comments (1)
Dear United Airlines,
Never ever ever ever use the words "emergency" and "landing" next to each other in a sentence IF IT ISN'T A TRUE FUCKING EMERGENCY! And if it really is an emergency, a little bit of information would be nice. Especially for the hysterical woman in 14B who is CLEARLY LOSING HER SHIT AND AFRAID SHE'S GOING TO DIE LIKE SHE ALWAYS KNEW SHE WOULD, IN A FLAMING PLANE HURLING TOWARDS THE WATER'S EDGE.
Incorrect Example Please ensure all your carry-ons are properly stowed beneath the seat in front of you in case of an EMERGENCY LANDING. Please also check for your neighbors, in case they are asleep, since it is TOO DANGEROUS for the flight attendants to be up and about the cabin at this time. {silence until the end of the flight}
Correct Example #1 -- non-emergency Please ensure all your carry-ons are properly stowed beneath the seat in front of you in preparation for landing.
Correct Example #2 -- emergency This is your pilot speaking. Unfortunately, we seem to have a small problem with the [plane part name goes here]. It's nothing to worry about -- in fact, I myself have landed planes with this problem 4800 times in my career. (Cue chuckle.) Call us Nervous Nellies if you want, but airline policy stipulates that anytime a miniscule and practically inconsequential problem of this nature arises, we must prepare the cabin for an emergency landing. Don't worry, we are not going to make an emergency landing and there is not even any need to adopt the crouch posture, but we do have to follow the rules. Flight attendants will be passing through the cabin shortly to ensure all carry-ons are properly stowed. They will also hand out bourbon or Xanax, your choice; crack light-hearted jokes to set the mood; and offer back rubs to help you relax. They will also be happy to move your neighbor to the jump seat and sit next to you, holding your hand and singing your favorite songs, if anyone is super duper scared. Thanks for your patience, and we'll be on the ground shortly.
Sincerely,
The Woman in Seat 14B
November 17, 2007 at 07:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
This year I offered to host Thanksgiving at our place. Then I took a full-time job, had a nervous breakdown, and canceled. I'm Martha's worst nightmare.
Luckily, one of the invitees was willing to have all of us (and then some!) over to her place. We're all collaborating on the menu, which is kind of fun. I wanted to bring a green bean casserole -- you know the one -- but it seemed like all the enthusiasm was of the "Oh isn't that perfect! (But I don't have to eat it, do I?)" variety, so I updated that one. Here's our final list of goodies...what are you making this year?
~ Chicken empanadas
~ Turkey
~ Ham
~ Nannies Party Potatoes
~ Macaroni & Cheese
~ Lemon-roasted green beans and Marcona almonds
~ Cheese & thyme biscuits
~ Creamed leeks
~ Wild Mushroom Stuffing
~ Cranberry Rosemary Wine Jelly
~ Wild Rice stuffing
~ Sweet potatoes
~ Cranberry-mascarpone chocolate tart
~ Chocolate S'more Pie
~ Sweet potato Ice Cream with Maple Glazed Pecans
~ Pecan Pie
November 16, 2007 at 09:54 AM in In my kitchen | Permalink | Comments (3)
On Tuesday night we were asked to wait 45 minutes past our reservation for dinner, then we waited another 20 minutes for a glass of wine -- which I requested twice before Jeff got up to fetch it himself from the bar -- and yet I am still going to rave utterly and absolutely about Fish & Farm. What gives?
I must begin with the hand-smashed red potatoes with fresh herbs and sour cream. Oh, the things I could do if I had a 10-pound bucket of those potatoes at my desk right now.
1. I could eat them all up, all by myself. For breakfast.
2. I could pour them in the pool of the hotel where I'm staying this weekend and dive in, rubbing their creme fraiche, heavy cream, and buttery sauce into my flesh.
3. I could put them on a small table with votive candles and a statue of the Buddha and kneel in front of them each morning and afternoon.
4. I could mail a small taste of them to each of the world's warlords, dictators, and despots. World peace would ensue.
5. I could give them to my boss in exchange for a $1,000,000 bonus. She'd clearly be getting the better end of the bargain, but hey, I'm a reasonable gal.
Yes, people, they were that good. In fact, every bite we ate was worth crowing over. Thick, meaty butter beans and sauteed greens with breadcrumbs and fresh Parmigiano-Reggiano. Grilled Monterey Bay calamari doused in lip-smacking harissa. Corvina, a buttery white fish from off the coast, with a sweetbread raviole (is that the singular form?).
The focus here is on "New American" local eats. There are limitations -- obviously Parmigiano-Reggiano can't be got here without importing it from far across the pond -- but the fish is primarily California (or West Coast) and the vegetables and dairy are sourced from within a strict 100-mile radius. The booze is all organic, including the bourbon they pour into their Fish & Farm Julep. A nice touch, n'est-ce pas? On our visit, I noticed boar ribs on the menu, and that looked interesting. Slavs might take to the housecured fish platter.
The down-home atmosphere was cozy but chic, perfect for this unseasonably cold weather we're having (I kid, I kid -- the nippy weather suits.) Bright blue walls with dark brown bamboo floors, and 20-ish tables, all put together under the genius eye of Swallowtail's Sheri Sheridan. I loved it.
After dinner I had the chance to chat with one of the owners, John, who listened to our service complaints and explained that they were short-staffed and were doing their best. He acknowledged that there were ways they could have improved our experience (the long wait, etc.). They haven't been open even a month, so I think it's fair to give them a pass on that one. If they can smooth out the kinks in service, I think this is one place where you'll soon be lucky to find an empty seat.
Fish & Farm * 339 Taylor Street * San Francisco * 415.474.FISH * fishandfarmsf.com
November 08, 2007 at 03:29 PM in San Francisco eateries | Permalink | Comments (4)
I just turned down the chance to eat at Per Se on Saturday. I'm spending the weekend there with my mom and Little Sister, and it was either gorge on pristine food over a 4-hour lunch, or shop.
I think I made the right decision.
November 08, 2007 at 12:10 PM in Dispatches from New York | Permalink | Comments (1)
November 05, 2007 at 09:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
This weekend I sat down to one of my favorite tasks of the year: choosing a healthcare provider. What, you don't think that's fun? What's not to love about trying to figure out if a $300 deductible and a $25 co-pay is a better deal than a $100 deductible and a $40 co-pay?
Seriously, I would rather amputate my arm at the elbow with a grapefruit spoon.
(I wonder how much the co-insurance on that procedure would cost?)
November 05, 2007 at 09:01 PM in Just Plain Musings | Permalink | Comments (3)
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