If Mr. Food Musings ever leaves me, I've got my next lover all picked out.
He's a chocolate soufflé cupcake from Macarune. (I bet you thought cupcakes were all girls. Ha! Some of them are metrosexuals.)
I will let him cool his heels in the refrigerator to preserve his youthful good looks until I am ready for him. Then I will remove him from his box with deft and gentle fingers, settling his sweet flesh on the counter to warm up. (My own hot breath might also do the trick.) When the time is right, I'll s-l-o-w-l-y peel his wrapper away and gaze upon his dark chocolate skin. He's a little lumpy, but that isn't age or sloth -- it's chunks of luscious, rich Valrhona chocolate hiding just beneath the surface.
I prefer to attack with a fork rather than with hands or mouth, which may seem a bit unconventional; the advantage is that it prolongs the experience. The ratio of luscious buttercream -- coffee or coconut, I can't say; a lady doesn't kiss and tell! -- to soft, chocolatey cupcake is perfect, and though the buttercream's light texture teases the tongue, it's the perfect foil for the cake's rich flavor and dense crumb.
I blush to confess that I have had this cupcake at least a dozen times in the last few weeks; I am nearly insatiable. I have savored every bite. This is one lover I never tire of.
On second thought, perhaps I'll make the chocolate soufflé cupcake my newest conquest anyway. Mr. FM can watch if he wants -- or join in the fun.
Hell, you can all join in the fun. He only costs $35 (per dozen). Oh...didn't I mention he charges for his services? All the good ones make you pay, one way or another.